A Life With Music
by LixxyChan
Summary: A selection/shuffle of songfic drabbles to the pairing RoyEd. Lots of themes, varying ratings. All under M-rated though :D
1. Cry by Rihanna

**Hey so this is a shuffle collection of drabbles; pretty much I'm using my Itunes shuffle to chose either five or ten songs to use as songfics :D**

**It'll be fun, I guarantee.**

**Anyway, so I've decided to do RoyEd as my couple(All the way through), because it is a totally cute pairing(and I may be slightly obsessed with it at the moment... ^^'')**

**I love reviewers because they're awesome people who care about my mental health. I will be mentally crushed if I get zero reviews and may never write this pairing again. ...I lie; I probably would write this pairing again anyway :P  
**

**Anyway, lets get started!**

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Song One: Cry by Rihanna (O.o Damn my short time liking of this song)

_I'm not the type to get my heart broken  
I'm not the type to get upset and cry  
'cause I never leave my heart open  
Never hurts me to say goodbye  
Relationships don't get deep to me  
Never got the whole in love thing  
And someone can say they love me truly  
But at the time it didn't mean a thing_

Roy Mustang, the flame alchemist had extinguished. Never in his life had he felt so miserable, so desolate, so alone. Every second it got worst, every second thinking of _him_. He who left. He who can never return.

Never had he felt this way before; he'd never been in love. He went through females like underwear; one a day, maybe seeing them again a couple of weeks later. His longest relationship was just over a week.

He was a sex god before; a smouldering gaze which attracted women like moths to a lamp. His gaze had won the hearts of lady near and far, but it never got more than that. The words 'I love you' had slipped too many times from his mouth to count, but that was all they were. Meaningless lies to woo the girl that slipped time and time again. Too many times had the words been said back.

_My mind is gone, I'm spinning round  
And deep inside, my tears I'll drown  
I'm losing grip, what's happening  
I stray from love, this is how I feel  
This time was different  
Felt like, I was just a victim  
And it cut me like a knife  
When you walked out of my life  
Now I'm, in this condition  
And I've, got all the symptoms  
Of a girl with a broken heart  
But no matter what you'll never see me cry_

Then it happened and his mind exploded with joy, relief but also pain, guilt and sadness. Not to mention the foreign uncertainty and self-disgust.

He'd fallen in love with a boy. A_ teenage boy_.

Roy Mustang, sex god and womaniser had fallen for one cute, short tempered, hot, small blond -his name would not be thought of-. Someone who could easily pass as his son if they had looked more alike.

And at first he had brimmed with self disgust; he had turned into a gay paedophile. Someone who, in his mind, took advantage of the younger citizens of _the same gender._ Then a mixture of uncertainty, joy and relief; he had found his true love, someone he could share his life with and love every minute! ...But also someone who could brake his heart within less than a minute.

The pain came within the minute he had left for where he was going to die. He knew that he was sending his secret love off to his death and he knew it was all his fault. He had gone to Resembool and convinced the injured child to come and visit him and then, to take the State Alchemist test...

His fault, all his fault.

As he thought about it, about him, thousands of needles stabbed through his lost heart, piercing, ripping and scarring the mangle of emotions.

He hadn't cried, laughed, loved or done anything since that day he found out the news. His beloved was gone, and Alphonse's body had been restored. If you looked at the facts, something Roy hadn't needed to do to know the outcome, it was easy to tell what had happened. The one Roy loved had been wounded, which is why in the debris of the ancient building where they found Al near there was stains of deep red-brown that could have only belonged to him. He had been fatally wounded and as a last act he had swapped his dieing body for Al's body, which is why although there is blood there is no body. No concrete body to mourn after, no solid evidence he was gone, but even though there was no body, there was still a mourning of loss and the loss of someone dear. The loss of _two _dear people, because they had lost Roy with the cheeky blonde prodigy.

_Did it happen when we first kissed?  
'cause it's hurting me to let it go  
Maybe 'cause we spent so much time  
And I know that it's no more  
I should've never let you hold me baby  
Maybe why I'm sad to see us apart  
I didn't give to you on purpose  
Can't figure out how you stole my heart_

One drunken party had started it off; started the whole love feeling off. They were celebrating -what, he can't remember- with beer and a trip to the bar. The short-tempered blonde wasn't legally allowed, but Hughes made him come anyway.

It was a bet between Hughes and Roy; a simple exchange of words.

"_I think your charms are rubbing off, Roy, not a single woman has looked at you all night! They seem interested in shorty though_." Hughes comment had seemed innocent at first glance. A simple insult which fired up the already drunk prodigy because of his off-hand adjective.

_"I can get anyone in here, Hughes, and you know it!"_ He shouldn't have used the word '_anyone_'. He would have been saved from this ongoing feeling of excruciating pain and depression by using the word 'woman' or 'female' or something of that kind. But Hughes had seen his mistake and used it. A single sentence was all Hughes needed to trick him.

_"Fine, I bet you couldn't get someone in here- I'll tell you who if you agree to the bet. If you agree and go through with it, I'll give you half my military earnings for three months. If you lose, you have to have Elysia as the military flag when you are Fuhrer!"_ A simple bet between friends led to this pain. He had money piled up in his account. He wasn't using it.

_"I can get anyone, I'm in!"_ A mischievous grin swept across the slightly drunk face of Maes. A bad grin. Roy saw Hughes lips move in the memory, but he couldn't bare to hear the name. Not now, it would tear him apart.

He'd kissed the blonde, and he knew when he remembered the memory that next morning, when the blonde barged in demanding what had happened last night. Luckily, Roy was the only person who remembered the kiss, but it was and is too much. The feel of his inexperienced lips, the taste -that _taste_- of him, the scent of his golden locks, the feel of one lean arm, one metal arm clutching his neck... He couldn't deal and every second of remembrance stabbed again and again until scars on scars covered scars. It was driving him crazy from the first day they found Alphonse, and he shut down. He broke. Not a tear escaped his ebony eyes because there was nothing. He pondered again how it had happened, how a simple kiss had led to this, but it came up with more jabs of a sharp pain.

_My mind is gone, I'm spinning round  
And deep inside, my tears I'll drown  
I'm losing grip, what's happening  
I stray from love, this is how I feel  
This time was different  
Felt like, I was just a victim  
And it cut me like a knife  
When you walked out of my life  
Now I'm, in this condition  
And I've, got all the symptoms  
Of a girl with a broken heart  
But no matter what you'll never see me cry_

No matter how hard he tried to forget, even after shutting down, he couldn't. He saw him everywhere. In his office, walking down the road, yelling in the corridor, everywhere had him. Everywhere reminded him of his loss. And it broke him and tore at him until he was sent away.

The fuhrer decided to send him to a far off look out spot. It snowed and blizzards came and went and Roy heard nothing. Not the crackle of the fire, not the raging winds outside.

_How did I get here with you, I'll never know?  
I never meant to let it get so, personal  
After all I tried to do, stay away from loving you  
I'm broken hearted, I can't let you know  
And I won't let it show  
You won't see me cry_

He was there, but he couldn't see the heart broken man he had left behind. It was hallucinations, but he wasn't in the small cabin. He was in Roy's head now instead of all over the room. Roy was sure the blond had never been anywhere near the hut he resided in, but that didn't stop his mind wandering again and again to the burning wound that covered his heart.

There were no tears that gorgeous boy could had seen. He wasn't here to see anything, even if there was tears. He wasn't here to tell Roy off for moping, he wasn't here to call him bastard. He wasn't here to figure out Roy loved him.

_This time was different  
Felt like, I was just a victim  
And it cut me like a knife  
When you walked out of my life  
Now I'm, in this condition  
And I've, got all the symptoms  
Of a girl with a broken heart  
But no matter what you'll never see me cry_

And slowly, the desolate man continues to diminish and soon he will be completely gone. The empty, cold shell will be nothing like the blazing fire that was Roy Mustang only one year ago and if that blond that plagued that same man's thoughts came back too late, he would not find his commanding officer. He would find an empty mannequin.

_This time was different  
Felt like, I was just a victim  
And it cut me like a knife  
When you walked out of my life  
Now I'm, in this condition  
And I've, got all the symptoms  
Of a girl with a broken heart  
But no matter what you'll never see me cry_

_All my life..._

When that blond does come back, another year had passed as the dwindling fire in the north continued to quiver, he relights the candle of Roy's heart and pulls the man on his feet. He'd never have to see Roy cry.

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**I'm so sorry for starting another fanfiction Dx ... okay, so I'm not that much, but I really do need to update my other stories.**

**There will be more chapters(duh) with the same pairing(otherwise I wouldn't have said this at the start) and you should want to read them(so put the story in your alerts section please!)**

**Normally, I wouldn't have used this song. But it came up and skipping it would be cheating. So I used a song that is defiantly not on my favourites.**

You must tell me if you see mistakes! Please?**  
**

**I really love reviews- they really make my day. Will you make my day by reviewing?**

Disclaimer**: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist or it's characters. Or the hut this where Roy is. Bleh.**

**Hope you enjoyed :D**

LixxyChan xx**  
**


	2. Bad Boy by Cascada

Song Two: Bad Boy by Cascada (**Hahahahahaha xD Can't believe I got this... Rofl.**)

_Remember the feelings, remember the day  
My stone heart was breaking  
My love ran away  
This moments I knew I would be someone else  
My love turned around and I fell_

The ebony-haired colonel watched with curious, pained eyes as Edward Elric stopped upon reaching the door.

Not three years ago he had felt the exact opposite of this agonising pain in his chest when he had first seen the dream of his life alive and well walking across the train platform towards him; he hadn't realised it at first, but he had truly loved the boy since square one.

But now the opposite was happening; the young alchemist with sun-coloured hair and a short fuse was leaving him.

A glimpse of hope hid behind his parental gaze as as the blond turned towards him; would he stay?

"See you soon, Colonel-bastard." He wasn't even looked in the eye. No cheeky grin adorned the feminine face as it should when the casual goodbye was spoken.

The door clicked shut and Roy fell dejectedly onto his oak desk.

_Be my bad boy, be my man  
Be my week-end lover  
But don't be my friend  
You can be my bad boy  
But understand  
That I don't need you in my life again  
Won't you be my bad boy, be my man  
Be my week-end lover  
But don't be my friend  
You can be my bad boy  
But understand  
That I don't need you again  
No I don't need you again_

The ebony haired colonelhissed in distress as his jumbled thoughts returned once again to his lost love.

"_No_! He meant _nothing_ to me! He means _nothing_ to me!" Roy denied the truth; he wouldn't screw up his life because his golden haired crush had left. If he thought about the boy once more, he was sure to shatter. He couldn't lose his future, his _dreams _because of one lost alchemist. One runaway alchemist.

"Leave me be! I don't need you!" His dark eyes blurred more as he downed another drink. Nobody paid attention to his shouts of anger and denial after the fifth time. He had been in that same club every night for five months now.

_You once made this promise  
To stay by my side  
But after some time you just pushed me aside  
You never thought that a girl could be strong  
Now I'll show you how to go on_

"You... you _promised _me, Edward..." The drunken man paused as he drank another drink, "You promised me, you said..."

_"Roy, I'll never leave. I need your resources, bastard!"_

He found it easy to remember the same cocky, sarcastic voice more when he was intoxicated then sober. The numbness dimmed the pain of betrayal, of loss that much more when he couldn't think straight.

_Be my bad boy, be my man  
Be my week-end lover  
But don't be my friend  
You can be my bad boy  
But understand  
That I don't need you in my life again_

_Won't you be my bad boy, be my man  
Be my week-end lover  
But don't be my friend  
You can be my bad boy  
But understand  
That I don't need you again  
No I don't need you again_

"I don't need you any more, Edward! You were my friend, but that was the opposite of what I needed! I don't need you any more!"

Colonel Roy Mustang didn't fool anyone.

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**Okay, so I laughed my face off when I got this song- I really did. I was so hesitant because of some... implications the song could give, but in the end my humourus side won over xD**

**Then I made it all depressing, and my humorous side went straight back to hell D:**

**I had problems writing things for the chorus at first, since I was going to somehow include Edward into them, then I decided on the more effective, depressing alternative because I do depressing best.**

**Not to mention I fail at writing romance ¬¬''**

**Anyway, tell me what you think of this chapter please!**

**Tell me if you see mistakes...**

**Hope you enjoyed :D**

LixxyChan xx


	3. Average Girl by Barlow Girls

Song Three: Average Girl by Barlow Girls

_So what I'm not your average girl  
I don't meet the standards of this world  
Chasing after boys is not my thing  
See I'm waiting for a wedding ring_

I frowned upon hearing the dreaded words.

I _hated _getting asked out by a girl. Or guy. It was just so... pointless in my eyes. If I accept I would go around for a week or two before confirming what I already know; she isn't the one for me. Not that I even had two weeks.

What's irritating is the already present strings I hold with this girl; she's one of my best friends.

Yes, that's right, Winry Rockbell had just asked me out. Winry, as in my best friend since birth. My brothers life long crush... My brothers love. Just asked _me_ out. Not my brother who deserved it. _Me_. And I hate it with a passion.

I bit my lip as I think about the pain I'm about to stab into my friend. My _best_ friend.

"I'm... sorry, Winry. You already know what I think about dating..." She frowned at that, a few wrinkles adorning her pale forehead.

"But... I thought it was... I though _I_ was different... I thought you felt the same..." I can see the tears forming at the corners of her sparkling, shocked blue eyes.

"I'm sorry, okay? Please don't cry..." I stepped forward to comfort her, but she stepped away with painfully hurt eyes which tore at my insides.

I shouldn't feel that; it's not my fault she got mislead... or was it? She seemed to think that I loved her back, but I couldn't. I needed to go into central to meet with this Mustang person. I'm only twelve, for hells sake! What do _I_ know about love?

It's not even that; she can't possibly expect me to stay here when I put my brother in this mess, can she? It's my fault he's missing his whole body! I'm leaving to go and do whatever possible to get it back! Even become... even become a _dog!_ ...Of the military of course. I wouldn't actual transform myself into an animal to get him back; what would that do to help?

Anyway, even after I've cleaned up this mess I'm not going to go out with her. It'd too embarrassing. Don't even ask why, it just would, okay?

_No more dating  
I'm just waiting  
Like sleeping beauty  
My prince will come for me  
No more dating I'm just waiting  
'Cause God is writing my love story_

Again it's happened! I didn't even know _this_ girl! It seems the fact I'm leaving has been leaked into the town nearby! How many girls are going to keep asking me out; I've told every one of them I'm not bothered!

...No, I don't _think_ I'm gay. I wouldn't accept it if I was, I mean, come on! Edward Elric, gay? I'd be the talk of the town!

...I guess it wouldn't be _too_ bad...

Of course I haven't already seen someone! What, are you stupid? I told you; I'm not gay! Eugh, stupid mind.

It hasn't been an hour since Winry asked me out and already two girls have asked me out. And one guy... Eugh!

Anyway, I think I'd better say something; I've been standing here while she asked me out. Whoops.

"...Sorry, I'm not looking for a girlfriend." Huh? She raised an eyebrow at me...

..._She raised an eyebrow at me!_

"Ah, no! I'm not gay either!" I must have looked disgusted at the thought because she calmed down. Oh, god...

I guess it's not that I'm not looking; more that I'm waiting. Yes, I'm a sucker for love stories, you got a problem?!

...I'm arguing with myself. Maybe I'm going insane? ...Nah; I'm way too cool to go insane.

_Boys are bad that's certainly not true  
'Cause God's preparing one for you  
If you get tired waiting till he comes  
Gods arms are the perfect place to run_

That bastard! Whoever he is, I hope Roy Mustang burns in hell!

He just made _me_ sort out _his_ mess! Lazy bastard!

Guys like him make me angry; they never do anything themselves and let everyone else do their dirty work!

Me, Al and this Hughes guy are sitting in a compartment with what's-his-name on the train, we'll be arriving at the stop any minute. Where that bastard will get one hell of a headache from me!

I hate guys like him!

... No, not all guys; guys like him. Guys aren't bad, I'm living proof of that.

_Sleep that's the only thing  
For me 'cause when I sleep Gods  
Preparing one for me_

I must have fallen asleep during my angry ranting because I've just woken up with Al shaking me.

With cold, metal hands.

Eugh, I shouldn't think about that depressing stuff; I'm about to give Mustang-bastard a headache. On purpose.

I'm walking out the door and I see him.

And that's when I find myself unable to shout at anything any more because he is just so _damn_ sexy. Damn it, I thought I wasn't gay?!

Thank fuck I'm a good actor.

_

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_**Mwuhahahaha, a new chapter! I really like this song as well :D**

**I think that turned out well; I really like it! First time I've done Ed's view :] I think it'd be just like Edward to get angry at getting asked out. And he's hot enough to be town heart throb :D ...Well, I think so :P  
**

**Disclaimer: None is mine but the... drabbleness.  
**

**Review, Favourite and tell me of any mistakes, mm'kay?**

**Thanks, hope you enjoyed!**

LixxyChan xx


	4. Pretty In Punk by Fall Out Boy

Song Four: Pretty In Punk by Fall Out Boy(**Finally, a good song that I enjoy and has a... almost normal subject. Almost.)**

_Walking off that stage tonight  
I know what you're thinking  
"He stands alone because he's high on himself"  
But if you only knew.._

The oldest blonde Elric stumbled off the school theatre stage.

It had been two weeks since he transferred to this school with his younger brother by one year, Alphonse. For some reason, still unknown by the second year Elric, he had been cast into the school show.

Let me explain this for all of you who are unfamiliar with Edward Elric; he likes science. _Acting _is not science. _Acting _is fake.

Edward does _not like _fake. Not one bit.

Hence, he was confused when the senior who's name he has yet to remember dragged him to the drama block on his first day. And every day since. Damn seniors.

As the blonde looked around, he saw director/lead actor. He has silky charcoal hair, with matching eyes that glisten in the light... like all eyes do. Duh.

The black orbs happen to glance in Edwards direction as the third year is glaring at everything. And he _smirks_.

The glaring everything into submission by the oldest Elric is halted, instead focusing solely on the smirking senior. Fucking seniors.

Edward knows- or he _thinks _he knows- what the no-name senior is thinking; what they all are thinking.

-'He's alone because he's _new_. He's alone because he's a _loser_.'

Yeah, right. _'I'm alone because you dragged me here alone. Cocky seniors.'_

_I was terrified and would you mind if I  
sat next to you and watched you smile  
So many kids but I only see you  
And I don't think you notice me  
Well I've seen your boyfriend  
and I don't think he treats you right  
But that's none of my business is it?_

My golden eyes scour the cafeteria, I realize there are no seats. Again. Bastard seniors.

First they drag me off to some far off drama block, then they expect me to do _drama_. They also expect to play a _female _character. I'm not a damn _girl_! Then, they expect me to miss my lunch! _Everyday!_ I truly hate seniors. They _live _to irritate me.

They called me _small_! Evil seniors.

Anyway, so I'm standing, glaring at everything because today, yesterday and tomorrow are all like shit. My brother hasn't even saved me a seat! ...Abandonment issues are heading my way, so I got to eat my food somewhere else. Outside the cafeteria! How... loser-ish. Eugh. Stupid seniors.

I head outside and what luck; it's raining! For fucks sake! Why the hell can't I find a god damn place to eat? Is it really got to be_ this hard_?

I head up to the roof; hopefully for some shelter so that I can eat my food in peace, away from all those seniors. Annoying seniors.

My flesh hand pushes open the creaky door to see one of the people I dislike most in this world. _Blacky_.

...Well what else am I supposed to call the fucking senior?! He has black eyes and hair, and fucking _smirked _at me! Arrogant seniors.

I sigh as I realise the situation I'm in. Sit next to the black haired senior... or don't eat. Fuck.

"... Is anyone sitting here?" Yeah, I was brought up polite, okay? Fuck off.

"No. Please, feel free to sit." He turned to face me with a smirk. Damn him.

"Thanks." I plop down onto the bench, as far as I could possibly plop down away from him as I could. Which was about... half a foot. He's sitting damn smack in the middle of the bench, damn it! Selfish seniors!

I shuffle around, pulling out my tuna-mayo baguette and hastily unwrapping it as he turns back to stare out at the rain. I take my first bite and... better than normal cafeteria food is. Wow. I munch carefully, making sure my baguette is definitely edible. It is, so I take a bigger bit.

This is about the time I notice Blacky isn't looking at the rain any more_. He raised an eyebrow at me!_ Who the hell does he think he is? ...bloody seniors.

"Do you normally eat like it might be made of poison?" He questioned me on my eating habits, and I finish my food before answering. Spraying food all over him _would _have been funny as hell though... hm...

"No. Cafeteria food normally might as well be poisoned though. This stuff isn't so bad though." I continue to chomp through my baguette as he says nothing. When I finish my little piece of heavenly food, I look at him. He's looking right past me, and as I turn to look at what he is looking at, he prances right past me!

"Hello, baby." Okay... now I'm creeped out. Blacky just called another guy-_ Blacky just kissed another guy!_ Shit, crap, I was talking to a gay?! ... Well at least I know he isn't interested in me. Already dating. Thank fuck. I don't deal with going out with people, and I definitely wouldn't even think about a senior... Shitty seniors.

"Where were you this morning? I told you to be at mine for eight!" ...Lovers spat, I see. ...Blacky isn't defending himself. What happened to the cocky, arrogant, bastard senior from a few seconds ago? He seems... submissive...

This relationship seems a bit like crap to me. Can't do anything about it though. Darn it, Blacky.

" See you around." I leave the roof swiftly and feel two pairs of eyes on my back. After I close the roof door, I gear Blacky's boyfriend shouting at him about me. Sorry, Blacky.

_I'm not the way you think I am, no  
I'm not the way you think I am, no_

_The only girl who ever gave me the time  
was the one who only wanted five minutes of mine  
Knocking boots in the back,  
How degrading is that?  
I decline_

Damn it! I can't help but thinking of that damn senior! Fuck you, Blacky, wherever you may be!

Figures the only decent senior around here, fuck it, the only decent person around here is in a fucked up relationship with some controlling guy. I don't get involved with troublesome stuff like that, fuck it.

... Besides, if Blacky really didn't like the other person... let's name him slag for now, if Blacky really didn't like slag, he'd break up with him, right?

It's the logical thing, right?

..._Right_?!

...Well, fuck it. I can't sort out some guys I barely knows relationship shit, I'm not degrading myself to that sort of softness.

_I'm too terrified and would you mind if I  
sat next to you and watched you smile  
So many kids but I only see you  
And I don't think you notice me  
Well I've seen your boyfriend  
and I don't think he treats you right  
But that's none of my business is it?_

_I'm not the way you think I am, no  
I'm not the way you think I am, no  
_

"Hey Blacky, can I sit here?" ..Damn it. I have no where to sit. Again!... Sadistic seniors.

"...Blacky?" Damn it. He raised he fucking eyebrow at me. _Again_!

"I had to name you something, I don't know your name. Your boyfriend's called slag." He chuckled darkly as I fell into the same spot as last time, only this time he didn't sit in the middle of the bench.

"My name's Roy mustang, I'm in fifth year. You are Edward Elric from second year, right?" I nod as I munch down on my bagette. I'm starting to like having edible food.

"You'll always be Blacky to me, fuck formalities." He chuckled again, a sound I was unwilling to admit that I was starting to like.

"You should hear what Saiko would say about that. He'd slaughter you." I growled.

"Why do you put up with his shit? He treats you like trash from what I've seen." I close my eyes angrily as I relax back, hands behind my head so I don't hurt my neck.

"I don't believe that's any of your business, small." My eyes flew open furiously, but _Roy _had already left the roof. Did I tell you I was the main female part in the play? Yeah, well fuck the play, I refuse to do it! Science is better anyway.

"...Damn seniors."

* * *

**Woopdefuckingwooh! Love this song! It's brilliant :D**

**Hehehe, Blacky. I love nicknaming people. It was not meant to be racist, by the way. It was unintentional and I only realised after I wrote the fic. Sorry!**

**Angsty a bit, isn't it? I'd write a sequel, but it'd kind of ruin the... shuffle kind of feel of it, I think. Anyway, fun stuff.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own Fall Out Boy's song, or FMA(even as a high school quick fic. :.D)**

**Please **review**, because I'd like to know whether people like me writing in this style, or if they prefer normal Pov or whatever :]**

LixxyChan xx


	5. Stand In The Rain by Superchick

Song Five: Stand In The Rain by Superchick

_She never slows down.  
She doesn't know why but she knows that when she's all alone, feels like its all coming down  
She won't turn around  
The shadows are long and she fears if she cries that first tear, the tears will not stop raining down_

Edward Elric moves hesitantly into his room as he hears the loud, drunken singing of his military colleagues quieten as they depart from the group into their separate bedrooms. No doubt some would end up in places they did not expect in the morning, but all should be silent until then.

Which is never, _ever _a good thing.

He feels the waves of what he suppresses during the day hit him like a kick below the belt as he closes the door and stiffly moves into the centre of the empty room.

Without his brother -metal or not- the room did not seem complete and it was seconds before the aloneness and feeling of not fitting in feeling had him on his knees.

His brother wasn't even in central any more. He had gone to live in Resembool when he found out how Edward has revived him. He wouldn't speak to his big brother any more, he wouldn't even acknowledge him.

After all, the prodigy _had _sacrificed an alive human to bring back his little brother. The man was murderer; already about to be executed when Edward requested his test. The test that had succeeded in bringing Alphonse Elric back from the dead.

The younger Elric was still not happy.

The blond struggles to crouch again, being on the floor would not help his condition. With all his effort -which amounted to little since his brother left him alone- he managed to drag himself to the uncomfortable bed, where he lay exhausted, but still wide awake.

He was pathetic.

Without his younger brother to hold him together, Edward was a piece of broken glass. Broken, shattered, unrepairable glass.

He could do nothing about the lonely feeling or the self hatred. Or his none existing love life.

When he was alone, the shadows crept up and he saw his nightmares alive; Al dead on the floor, John Tucker smiling sadistically at him, Barry the Chopper coming at him with a knife, Nina as a chimera, Winry's scared face and the worst of all:

The night when Alphonse left him.

In his hallucinations -which he had on a regular basis, regardless of how he _knew _they were unreal- and his nightmares -which he also had on a regular basis- he could see nothing but the back of his brothers head. Walking calmly, without hesitation further and further away from him. And he would run till his legs fell beneath him and all he could do was stare at his dear, _dear _brothers back and watch.

He yearned to shout out to him; to plead with him to return, but the nightmare had only just started and he would be on the verge of tears as he saw another figure walking away from him, just as calmly and without an ounce of regret.

When he first saw the black, well kept hair of Roy Mustang, his heart jumped and pain erupted like a volcano through his memories, burning and destroying.

That was when he would awaken screaming.

_So stand in the rain  
Stand your ground  
Stand up when it's all crashing down  
You stand through the pain  
You won't drown  
And one day, what's lost can be found  
You stand in the rain_

Three sharp, demanding knocks startled Edward Elric the next morning into screaming awake.

He had had the terrible nightmare again, and when he heard the knocks was just when he could no longer distinguish Roy from Alphonse as they walked away from him, side by side.

"Elric?! Is everything okay in there?" When Roy Mustang, who had finally reached his goal of Furher, got no reply other than the extinguish of the terrified screeches to his frantic question, he barged through the locked wooden door to see a jumpy Edward, his breathing irregular and the normally hidden bags under his eyes even more obvious. His golden locks were out of their usual braid and messy, and he looked like he had just spent a night in hell.

When exhaustion finally hit, the Elric had to lean again his wall to stay upright.

Within seconds, Roy was by his side, asking millions of questions.

"You okay, Fullmetal? You look pretty tired. Dont tell me one night of drinking does this to you? You must have a terrible hangover to match that I certainly dont envy. Speaking of Envy, we've spotted him again, I thought you said he was dead? Still, you look like you've been to hell and back, are you ill or something? I know this one--"

"...Quiet." The tiny whisper from the blond silenced the leader, as he waited for some sort of reason to his terrible appearence.

With one wheezy breathe in, Edward steadied himself and prepared himself to get up. With one heave, which consequently happened most mornings, the eighteen year old alchemist lifted himself onto his pained feet.

"How are you even standing in the condition?!" The horrified whisper from his official had not startled the Elric; he had been expecting this question from the moment he tried to upright himself.

"How I do every morning, Furhur."

_She won't make a sound  
Alone in this fight with herself and the fears whispering if she stands she'll fall down  
She wants to be found  
The only way out is through everything she's running from wants to give up and lie down._

"But... You get up in that condition _every _morning? How has not come to my attention, I see you everyday?! I think it's time you took a vacation-"

"No!" The pure terror lacing his words made Mustang back pedal at once.

"No... If I stop trying, if I stop pushing every day... I don't know what will happen... and I'll be all alone, and they'll be back and it wont help!" As Edward rambled panicking, as his hands tugged at the outrageous locks, the black haired man finally realised what had gone wrong.

"You... don't want a vacation?" Confusion filled his head as Edward nodded silently before stating,

"If I don't do anything... well you can see my condition. I know if I have a vacation ...even for one day.... this," He pointed to himself as finally couldn't take standing up any longer and fell back to the bed. "...will get much worst." The boy was breathless as he closed his eyes once again, conserving whatever energy he had.

"Get out, I need to get dressed." The Fuhruh tried to protest:

"You can't possibly expect me to let you work in that condition, the people next door have been complaining for months about screaming, I only came to ask you if you knew who it was-"

"_I_ was the fucking screaming, Roy! It was all _me_! There is your answer! Now get the fuck out of my room." The black haired man backed slowly out the room, astonished by the harsh tones and by how long his subordinate had been in such a terrible condition.

_So stand in the rain  
Stand your ground  
Stand up when it's all crashing down  
You stand through the pain  
You won't drown  
And one day, whats lost can be found  
You stand in the rain_

Outside the room, Roy leant against the wall, gradually slipping down it until he was sitting down.

Unanswered questions sounded through his head as he worried about the man he had become quite fond of.

Guilt overtook him as he realise how oblivious he was. _This_ had been happening for _months_ and he had no idea about it. He hadn't even considered it a possibility. he thought once again to the picture in his mind of when Edward had gotten up and he had a thought.

'No matter what, I will fix this.'

* * *

**Mwuhaahahaha, finally I wrote a new chapter. I love this song, I really do. It's fantastic. Depressing, sure, but still a great song.**

**Too repetative though, I had to not use some of the choruses cause they're all the same T.T**

**Please review, I love to know what you think.**

**Tell me of any words I got wrong, or if the context somewhere is wrong or whatever please.**

Disclaimer**- I dont own Fullmetal Alchemist, its characters, the song(Or songs, I dont believe I put a disclaimer on any of the other songs either...) and whatever else :D**

**Hope you enjoyed the chapter :)**

LixxyChan xx


	6. I'd Lie by Taylor Swift

Song Six: I'd Lie By Taylor Swift

_I don't think that passenger seat  
Has ever looked this good to me  
He tells me about his night  
And I count the colours in his eyes_

I curl my sore legs up to my chest, happily resting my arms on them, and my head on my arms as I gaze out of the cars front window. I don't think I've been this happy in a long while, even though I was in the passenger seat.

I love driving, it really makes me happy. It wasn't often someone manages to convince me into the passenger seat, because I'd honestly prefer to walk. Not to mention it makes me feel... irritable. Mainly because the person offering was horribly sour-faced, smelly and/or generally horrible in every possible meaning of the word. Not to mention they probably would take the piss out of my height and my _'girlish'_ hair. I think the plait is prefectly manly!

But this time was different! _Roy Mustang_ offered me a lift! Yeah, we've been friends for a long while, but he never lets anyone in his auton martin vanquish.

... but he's letting me!

I listen to him reciting his day, laughing when he mentioned my brother tripping over his own feet and smirking at all the right places.

I turned my head slightly to the side, gazing through my golden locks to look at him. He hasn't realised my focus on his eyes as he continues to talk and laugh about his day. He doesn't notice when I start to count the colours in his eyes.

I never thought coal black eyes could be so colourful, but the the bastard always always changed how I saw things.

_He'll never fall in love he swears  
As he runs his fingers through his hair  
I'm laughing cause I hope he's wrong  
I don't think it ever crossed his mind  
He tells a joke I fake a smile  
That I know all his favourite songs  
And.._

His lips form the funniest story of a girl who tried to kiss him today, remarking on how stupid she must have been once his tale was finished. He started off with his description of her; short, brunette and too much make up. That makes me chuckle as he was never one to like a fangirl. Sleep with them, maybe, but he never liked them.

As the words I am thankful for -and yet I slightly dread them- slip smoothly from his mouth, I laugh. I hope he's wrong.

_'I'll never fall in love, they've put me off it for life...'  
_

I smile again as he starts on a joke his friend told him, and laugh as I move my hand down to his CD player. Thumbing through the small stack he has in the tiny compartment by where my knees should be, I think about what music he likes.

As I put on the seventh song, he laughs and labels it as his favourite song.

As if I didn't know that.

_I could tell you his favourite colour's green  
He loves to argue, born on the seventeenth  
His sister's beautiful, he has his father's eyes  
And if you asked me if I love him,  
I'd lie_

'Your birthday is in three weeks right? The seventeenth?" I ask, quietly formulating a plan. I know the date is right, I just needed to check.

I don't want to give him his birthday present on the wrong day, even if he is a bastard.

'You asked me that two days ago, Ed, your memory that lousy?' He teases me wit a playful grin all the time and I hate it. Almost as much as I hate damned passenger seats. Except this one.

'No I simply couldn't remember what you said!' Yes I can. I asked him what he wanted too. He simply told me his favourite colour. Something that nobody else knows.

His favourite colour is green. Anything in that colour he would be happy with.

...Maybe I should get a green condom and put that statement to test...

I look at his eyes again, realising they are so much like his fathers. His father was a baker who died in a fire wit his wife, Roy's mother. Roy was devastated. He got back on his feet thanks to his friends though. Including me. His father was always a kind man, giving much and getting bits and pieces. Always willing to share a smile.

Roy's sister lives halfway around the world, with her boyfriend. Far away, but beautiful, she shares the same beauty as the rest of the family. Dark locks like Roy's, that I long to pull out at times.

Or ruffle, depending the mood.

_He looks around the room  
Innocently overlooks the truth  
Shouldn't a light go on?  
Doesn't he know that I've had him memorized for so long?  
He sees everything black and white  
Never let nobody see him cry  
I don't let nobody see me wishing he was mine_

"Ed, could I maybe... sleep at yours tonight?" The question doesn't catch me off-guard, as he has stayed at mine many times.

He says facing an empty room is like seeing the empty spot where his house used to be on the night when his parents died all over again.

I agree and it's not five minutes before we arrive at my apartment. I never could bear being with my brother and have avoided him for over a year now, ever since he had Winry's to stay at.

Like Roy and his empty room, my brothers face never fails to remind me of what I have lost. My mother.

My beautiful, wonderful, intelligent, loving mother.

I lead him across the green hallway to the white door, and I stop. He knows I can't face the room, and so do I, so I simply motion to the closed door and stand to one side.

He has failed to figure out why I don't go into the room, and though he asked once I denied him an answer. He still overlooks the feminine tint to the room and the fact I have no parents; he still has not figured out of my beloved mothers death.

I murmur a quiet goodnight, as he gracefully sweeps past me to the door, and I turn my head away as he opens the door and steps in.

Deciding hastily, I sneak a glance at his dazzling charcoal eyes, my eyes purposefully not focusing on the room behind his mesmerising face. He is so obviously surprised that I looked at him, his eyes are wide and mouth drops slightly open. I smirk lightly before turning my head away and sauntering into the sea blue door opposite; my room.

My screams wake me up only two hours later; the glance towards my mothers room brings memories to my mind and it twists them, making them into weapons which pierce my strangled heart and create nightmares which keep me up to nights on end.

Although I know he is awake now, I know he must have been before. He has heard me wake from these nightmares before and only once has rushed in. Although not at home, his mind will have wandered into forbidden territory and his eyes will have filled with diamond tears.

I'm the only one who's ever seen the droplets of water escape his eyes.

_He stands there then walks away  
My god if I could only say  
I'm holding every breath for you..._

Morning comes and I stand at the door to watch him leave. He smiles and thanks me before turning and walking calmly to his black car.

My breath catches in my throat as his hair dances in the morning breeze, and I wish to call out to the nonchalant male.

I stay silent.

_He'd never tell you but he can play guitar  
I think he can see through everything  
But my heart  
First thought when I wake up is  
My god he's beautiful  
So I put on my make up  
And pray for a miracle_

The nest day, I wake with shadows present under my golden eyes, for the past had haunted my dreams again and I glance at my bedside alarm clock. A picture rests beside it of my scowling face and Roy's mischievous grin as I am dressed as a princess and he a knight. A guitar is in his hand as his other is around my shoulders; the night after the humiliating Cinderella school play.

Nobody knows he can play that guitar, apart from me and Hughes.

As I look at the cheeky grin, I bask in his perfect face and realise all over again how beautiful he is.

I return to sleep for another ten minutes.

* * *

**Odd ending, hm? I loovveee this song! :D ... Though not quite so much as some of Taylor Swift's others...  
**

**Anyway, this is the sixth song, yay! I have finally posted something!**

**I'm ill though, so there wont be any more for while T.T**

**Reviews would be lovely, because I do put a lot of effort into my writing.**

Disclaimer:** Don't own the FMA characters, don't own Taylor Swift's song, 'I'd Lie'**

**Hehe :)**

LixxyChan xx


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